Michael Eriksson's Blog

A Swede in Germany

My recent problems with Unitymedia

with 3 comments

Incompetent and user/customer hostile businesses has been a recurring theme in my writings. My experiences with Unitymedia rank among the very worst, however.

Problems until recently were mostly limited to abusing my email address for spam. However, the developments in the last two weeks are utterly inexcusable. Even in a somewhat abbreviated listing:

  1. Visiting my apartment in Wuppertal for pre-sabbatical preparations*, where I have had an Internet connection from Unitymedia for almost a year-and-a-half, I find that the connection no longer worked. This after my only using it for a total of roughly two months, due to my long absences, and now that I finally was going to use it on a daily basis for the foreseeable future.

    *Cf. a previous post.

  2. I attempt to trouble-shoot through the web interface of the router—only to find that the web interface simply does not work with my Firefox. This without any messages as to why, no “please activate X”, or anything indicating that something was amiss—apart from things not working. For instance, a button that was to be pressed was not visible; for instance, after finding the invisible button and pressing it, nothing happened.

    This state persisted after I had verified that all the likely complications, including cookies, JavaScript, and images, where activated and functioning.

    Having limited time, I (temporarily) gave up and focused on other things.

  3. Back in Cologne, I tried to log in to the customer area of Unitymedia’s website. This was not possible, with repeated errors of

    Bad Request

    Your browser sent a request that this server could not understand.

  4. I also investigated Unitymedia’s WiFi hotspots*, hoping to use them as a work-around. This was fruitless, with no information easily found (but compare below).

    *Every (WiFi-)router is per default enabled as a hotspot for other Unitymedia customers, implying that they can access the Internet without extra cost when away from their own routers. (Assuming that another router is sufficiently close by.)

  5. I now contacted customer service per email, giving a detailed record of events and including my last invoice number (the customer number not being obvious from any of the information available in Cologne).

    The result was a pure boiler-plate email claiming that my customer account could not be found based on the data given—utterly absurd since I copy-and-pasted the invoice number. (And have subsequently verified that I sent the correct number.)

    Worse: This email committed many of the sins I discuss in a previous post, including altering the subject line and not including the original message—and added one entirely new: The sender was replaced by a “no-reply” address in an ongoing conversation. These are inexcusable in any context (cf. the linked-to post), but in an ongoing conversation?!?!? Effectively, I have to go back to a previous message and copy the recipient address from there in order to reply!!! An absolute and utter travesty of email use.

    Whether Unitymedia is just utterly incompetent or are deliberately trying to sabotage email communications*, I do not know. Either which way, this is so far beyond the acceptable that the decision maker should be summarily fired for this alone.

    *For some reason, many businesses appear to be extremely email adverse and/or view email as a pure one-way channel for them to send messages, mostly spam, to their customers. Common problems include hiding email addresses, taking any chance to ask the customer to call customer service instead, trying to divert customers to Facebook instead of email, … On a few occasions, I have even had emails to officially publicized addresses be given an automatic response of “please use our contact form instead”.

  6. I sent back further (redundant!) information, and now Unitymedia apparently did manage to find me. However, instead of addressing the issues at hand, a message amounting to “we tried to call you; please call us back” was given—something which is entirely pointless, seeing that I am not in Wuppertal at the moment… Worse: Going by the time the email was sent, I and most others would have been at work in the first place—if they had reached me (or whomever) it would have done no-one any good, making the phone call a waste of time. I had described the events in sufficient detail and without being in the presence of the router, there is very little else that I could reasonably have added or tried.

    To boot, I currently have no use for a cell phone and have let my pre-paid SIM expire. Apparently, however, someone who does not have a cell phone is not allowed customer service…

    Also to note: The information that I had additionally requested should have been given per email, not per telephone. If I had wanted information per telephone (extremely error prone), I would have called myself; I sent an email and both common sense and common courtesy requires a reply by email.

    Almost needless to say, this reply also committed all the above email sins…

    As an aside, there are quite large bootstrap problems involved by now: Almost any attempt to open a contract requires leaving a phone number and/or email address—quite often “and”; often specifically a mobile phone number. This even when there is no actual justifiable need; this even when the contract is for e.g. telephone services. When I moved to Düsseldorf in 2011 (?), for instance, the provider I first turned to for telephone and Internet services (Deutsche Telekom) required a pre-existing phone number to even leave the first screen of the process. We could be approaching a state where e.g. an immigrant simply is stuck, not being able to get basic services because he does not already have basic services.

  7. I replied correspondingly, including pointing to the fact that most of the checks Unitymedia should do could or even must be done without my involvement. (For instance, checking that everything is OK with my contract does not require my involvement; correcting errors in Unitymedia’s web pages must not involve me.) This email is still unanswered.
  8. Today, I had grown tired of waiting and not wanting to risk further delays, seeing that I only have the Cologne apartment (and the Internet connection there) until the end of next week, I installed Chromium*, hoping that this would work with the atrocious web pages of Unitymedia. Well, to some approximation, it did. After various hitches, including a password field that refused my securely generated password** and an incorrectly constructed confirmation email***, I finally managed to register and login in.

    *An open source version of Chrome.

    **The best approach to secure passwords is complete randomness. Restrictions like “must contain a digit” can be helpful in slightly protecting idiots who try to use “password” as the actual password, forcing them to move to e.g. “pasSw@w0rd”. However, the emphases is on “slightly” and these restrictions lower the security of random passwords. (Since they are no longer completely random.) The procedure of Unitymedia is made a mockery by insisting on a “security question”, which very, very significantly lowers the security of the password mechanism: A glass window next to a steel door. (The considerably better, even if not perfect, way is to have the ability to send an email with a “reset” link to a pre-defined email address.) As for the security question, I originally tried to use (approximately) “security questions are a bad idea” as the answer. This was rejected as invalid, with no indication of why. (Length? The spaces? After replacing it with a shorter, random string without spaces it worked.) Complete and utter idiots!

    ***The (HTML) email was so poorly written that it did not even render in my email client, appearing to be entirely empty; I was forced to save the email to a text file and to open it manually in a browser. The actually needed contents where several lines of text and a link; the actually provided contents were an order larger due to the inclusion of various information about who was the CEO and whatnot; the actual size of the HTML code was 61406 (!) characters, compared to 1657 for the actual text. (The latter, imprecisely, measured through copying the text from my browser and copying it into the Linux “wc” tool; the former not including several external images, which are incidentally a big “no no” when using HTML emails.) Running the HTML through tidy, a HTML validator, gave no less that 159 (!) warnings.

  9. After navigation through the visually horrifyingly designed pages, with their illogical structure, dodging repeated annoying and uninteresting messages that Unitymedia had wonderful new offers for me, and generally being on the very, very end of my patience, I finally found instructions for how to use the hotspots—with smart phones. A use with computers, even notebooks, is apparently not on the agenda (but I assume that the instructions are sufficiently adaptable that it will be possible).

    However, before use I had to activate the functionality, set a password, and whatnot. Before submitting the corresponding form, I clicked on the link for the Terms-and-Conditions—only to unexpectedly find myself looking at a PDF document within Chromium. I closed it to download and reopen it in a proper PDF viewer—only to find that the tab with my data was gone. (Apparently, the PDF had opened in the same tab.) I re-opened the tab and went back to the original page—only to find that the data I had entered were gone. At this point, I just gave up, wanting to save my blood pressure from a complete disaster.

    (This is of course only partially the fault of Unitymedia. Most of it likely falls on a weird default behavior from Chromium, which incidentally proved to be very frustrating and limiting in other regards too, e.g. in the use of annoying animations and filling the “new tab page” with a redundant Google search page, neither of which appeared to be possible to deactivate through the main settings.)

The web pages of Unitymedia could basically be used as an example for aspiring web designers of how not to do it. I will not attempt a detailed analysis (because that would require me to go back and look at them in corresponding detail, for which I have neither the time nor the patience). However, I do note especially on the visual side the need for excessive scrolling to reach any content, any screen typically containing just a few lines of text—and large, uninteresting images or large swatches of even less interesting empty space. Technically, they provide an excellent example of why Ajax/DHTML/whatnot are rarely a good idea and why it is almost always better to develop regular HTML pages, using vanilla forms, and possibly some very minor piece of JavaScript for some special tasks. Content-wise, the pages are confusing, making it hard for even a very experienced surfer to find the right information. By and large, I would liken the visit to trying to find useful product information in a supermarket flyer.

Written by michaeleriksson

March 22, 2018 at 5:31 pm

3 Responses

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  1. […] An expansion on the password security issues briefly mentioned in my previous post. […]

  2. […] situation around Unitymedia (cf. [1], [2]) remains extremely […]

  3. […] have repeatedly, but highly incompletely, written about my problems with Unitymedia (cf. [1], [2], […]

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